September 11

It feels wrong to post something cheerful on a day like today. So I won’t.

I remember ten years ago I had no TV. It was broken and I didn’t get a replacement for quite some time. I didn’t hear or see any news for the better part of 9/11, I just felt it became eerily quiet in the afternoon. Eventually a friend called me and told me what had happened. I had a hard time assigning meaning to her words.

After the call I walked over to the mall, into the shop where they sold TVs, because I simply couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. I had once flown home from Newark Airport at sunset and we flew over NYC, could see a lot of it through the windows. I remember the pilot pointing out the World Trade Center. I mainly remember how big New York City is, how long it took to fly across.

Then, I stood in the TV shop where all the TVs were tuned to various news channels, some CNN, some German channels. I and everyone else stood there in silence, disbelief and horror. I heard newscasters, the US president and some other people speaking, but what they said was lost on me. I couldn’t even think about the victims, the terrified New Yorkers in the streets then and there.

I could only realize in pure terror that there is no limit to the imaginative, ever changing ways of pain and destruction humans subject each other to. Even after several millenia of slavery, torture, murder, war and genocide there is no end in sight.

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